Can I Change?

July 13, 2017

Citizenry isn’t only about the big things. It’s also about changing ourselves for the better - and that includes dumping a bad habit or two. It takes a lot of effort for one to change, especially with many temptations coming your way. You must have the right mindset and be open-minded to all changes. Others think that I do not have a bad habit, carefree and is totally innocent. To be frank, I have my own flaws. One of my bad habit is that I am a spendthrift. Spendthrift is a term for someone who spends money in an extravagant, irresponsible way.

PRE-CONTEMPLATION
According to the Six Stages Change Cycle, I feel like I am a reluctant pre-contemplator. Pre-contemplators are those who are not fully conscious of the impact of the problem they are facing, or they think that others who point out the problem are exaggerating. Now that I think of it, my extravagant spending does lead to many problems. An example of such is that it will cause more financial burden for my family. I do not work so the only way I get my pocket money is from my parents. If I spend all my pocket money on unnecessary items, I will not have much left for my meals in school. This will then lead to me asking for more money from my parents. They work hard to provide for our family and yet I do not spare a thought for them nor try my best to be more responsible before spending on something I do not need at all. My parents spent time talking to me with regards to all my unnecessary spendings yet I don’t see my extravagant spending a problem that I need to change.

The Four Rs for my pre-contemplation

RELUCTANT to acknowledge my problem.
Becoming more REBELLIOUS towards my parents controlling my spendings.
RESIGNED to the thought of me not able to change.
Coming up with lots of REASONS for that spending.
CONTEMPLATION
Looking at the beautiful clothes lined on racks gives me the temptation to buy even more even though there is no space left in my wardrobe. Some clothes are only worn once and some are not even worn at all. I have this mentality that we can never have too many clothes. That’s how i view myself as a spendthrift.

It was after watching a documentary programme that made me realise my selfish, irresponsible act that I vow to change. I feel very ashamed of myself comparing to children in poorer or war-zone countries who go to bed starving, wearing worn-out shoes and dirty set of clothes and yet I am spending my money unwisely on things that I already have.

Besides that, I also have a habit of buying too much for others & spending too much on a gift. I used to have a mentality that the value of a gift counts. But I was so completely wrong. After all, It’s the thought that counts. I feel that maybe I should have more self-control.
I googled online to understand more about my problem and what has caused failure for change in the past. 
  

DETERMINATION
After weighing all the pros and cons, it finally tips the balance in favour of change. It takes a lot of determination for one to quit their bad habits. I thought to myself, “if others can quit smoking, drugs, and drinking, why can’t I quit my shopping addiction?” I created a realistic plan for myself. I begin to anticipate problems and pitfalls and come up with concrete solutions that will become part of my ongoing treatment plan. 

In order to show my commitment to change, I turn to my family and friends for help & support and making known to all close friends that I will change my bad habits.

I start to evaluate the difference between ‘WANT’ and ‘NEED’. Basically all my temptations of buying things in the past are things that I WANT instead of NEED.
ACTION
I put my plans into action by :
  1. Keeping track of my weekly spending. 
  2. Keeping a log of what I bought, how much it cost and how I felt before, during and afterward.
  3. Making an effort to save from my weekly pocket money.
  4. Consulting someone before purchasing.
  5. Carry lesser cash with me.
  6. Spending more time with other healthier activities such as exercising & hanging out with loved ones.
  7. Committing more time with school’s activities. 
  8. Get something cheaper as an alternative.
  9. Quitting the bad habit of buying too much for others and making an effort to make something from scratch which means much more than any gifts I could possibly buy in a store. 
  10. If I have to shop for something I need, make a list of what I’ll need to get and stick to it.

MAINTENANCE, RELAPSE, RECYCLING
It has been a long time since I went on a huge shopping spree. I guess I am on my way to the road of success! Occasionally, I cannot resist the temptations. However, it is already a good process. I am becoming firmly established, and the threat of a return to old patterns become less intense and less frequent.

 TERMINATION
At this stage, I no longer find that my spending habit presents a temptation or threat; I have complete confidence that I can cope without fear of relapse. I have more self-control now! I would like to encourage those who has a bad habit - there is hope for a change and it is never too late!


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